Perhaps you feel that you need no support in this area, or perhaps you feel like you are drowning in the task of teaching your own children or the children of others in your co-op/homeschooling group or general education classroom. Whether you feel more one way or another, there is always room for us to grow and learn in this area. It would be nice to say that children are like well-oiled machines that just get their work done and listen attentively in ultimate efficiency. Unfortunately, both machines and children do not always work consistently in the most effective way, but we can help them and ourselves to become more efficient and effective in our schoolwork. You may wonder if classroom management for teachers applies to parents of homeschooled children, and the answer is that there is much to be learned from the classroom, and much to be adapted for homeschooling, and we will cover both.
YOUR STANCE:
Some teachers swear by the “don’t smile until Christmas” advice. You want the children to be terrified of you, right? Well no, of course not. This is clearly bad advice, and although it may work for some, a fear-based environment is not conducive to learning. Even if you have a perfectly behaved classroom, if they’re all terrified of you, they won’t remember much. Now what about your desire to be liked by your children or students? Especially when teaching from home, you want your children to love you and like you, but as you already know, you sometimes have to give them consequences they don’t like. Interestingly enough, it is a very common occurrence for teachers to want their students to like them or think they are cool especially when they are starting off as a new teacher. This might be occasionally effective for a teacher in high school, but in elementary aged kids, it is definitely counter productive. The area that is problematic is that of caring what the children think about you. The best way to be a good teacher, is not to care what the kids think of you, and to care about their best interest no matter how they treat you. If they appreciate all your work with them, then feel grateful of course, but don’t expect or hope for it. Very few children when given a stack of homework will thank you profusely for it. If they do, you always have to scratch your head and wonder what planet they came from.
RESPECT:
It should go without saying that respect is key to everything. This is always my number one essential requirement when teaching. The students must respect me and their classmates. The teacher must model respect, and be sure to address disrespect as soon as it arises. Children can be very respectful in some instances just naturally, but sometimes they equate being cool to being disrespectful to teachers or elders. If they have a witty comeback or saying when the teacher asks them to do something, they get chuckles from their classmates, and they feel really great about themselves at that moment. A teacher should never take things personally, because it is rarely if ever about them. Children want to be well liked by their peers in older grades, and in younger grades they are often more eager for their teacher to appreciate them. In either case, it is more all about them, as it is for most of us at that young age. In some instances, if you are teaching students from different families and homes, they may not have good models of respect at home. It may be usual to have short remarks or brush off someone’s request as this may be common in their home or neighborhood. Instead of getting uptight about their rudeness, consider that they have very few role models and very few experiences of gracious behavior. Model respect by being respectful of the students, and quickly address disrespect. Often it is good to take a student aside rather than addressing a whole group of students (even if it is a small group). Consider addressing the disrespect with specifics. Address that the tone of voice was not appropriate to the situation, or that rolling the eyes is unacceptable. Explain the importance of being respectful and help them with perspective taking if they are unable to see how their behavior is impacting others around them. Help them to understand that they would not want others to treat them the same way. Respect goes a long way, and should never be sacrificed. When teaching your own children make sure to address disrespect early and often as your children will only thrive when they are respectful of you and one another. Not to mention, respect makes learning go so much faster because there are far less interruptions.
THE LOOK:
It goes without saying that there is a funny thing called “the look” when teaching. I have to say that unless you have never had children to take care of, you may never have needed it. It’s kind of magical, but you just speak with your eyes. You give “the look” when you want to warn your students or children not to do something because they know it’s not a good choice. You give them “the look” when they are doing something that isn’t right. And you give them “the look” when they should have known better. Giving them “the look” can prove to be helpful when teaching because it is almost an added conscious check for them. They know that stealing that last cookie on the counter is a bad idea, but they steal a look your way, and you let them know with your eyes that that’s not a great idea. They start whispering and distracting their sibling or classmate during a lesson or schoolwork, and you give them the “you know you should be paying attention” look. Giving “the look” reduces the instances of having to specifically and repeatedly address issues verbally which can reduce the friction and resistance of following directions. It also reduces the prevalence of issues by giving them an added subtle warning to think twice about their actions. It can also be a better way of reaction rather than lecturing and scolding profusely or making a big deal or scene about it (depending on the situation, of course). Giving “the look” should not be a replacement for deep discussions when significant issues or behavior arises as discussion amongst students who have wronged each other is important. Rather, this addresses all the little things, and is a preemptive measure to helping the classroom or small homeschool group run well.
YELLING:
Yelling is the epitome of a perfect learning environment. Oops, I think I missed the “not” word in that sentence. Yelling is rarely effective in the classroom and out of it. Yelling may come very naturally to us when we are annoyed at the children around us, or when they can’t seem to behave. It even works for a minute. Everyone freezes like a deer in the headlights and listens to you – or do they? They may stop whatever they are doing, but whatever you are trying to teach them or have them do, they are doing it as a person in a trance that can half hear. Yelling instills fear and may enact change for a moment, but it is never a long lasting effect, and it certainly does not instill values. Children often revert to the emotional brain in those instances, so they learn very little and take very few lessons out of what we are saying in that moment. This is why we often have to repeat ourselves and why they seem to never get it. As a classroom teacher, or a parent, we do not want to be known as the teacher or parent who always loses their temper. Rarely will this instill respect from our students or children and often results in hurt feelings and a sense of resentment in our children. As they feel grieved by the disrespect, we either have to apologize or instill the criteria that our behavior is justified as the teacher who must run the classroom. During my student teaching, our professors told us that we will often revert to the same behavior our elementary teachers had towards us and reenact that behavior towards our own students. I shuddered at that thought. My classroom teachers in a public elementary school overseas often made fun of students if they did not know the answer to a question they had asked. They instilled fear in us and were often disrespectful to us students. I determined at that moment that I would never let my experiences with my classroom teachers impact my teaching in the classroom. I would always strive to show my students respect and instill an expectation of their respect in return.
PRACTICAL THINGS:
I always believe in telling students the “rules” or “expectations” for the classroom on the first day of school. As a parent, those expectations have started much earlier than now. If you wonder if you can get your children to follow your rules and you wonder if you will be able to teach them, do not fret, as you can implement all of these things into your classroom. If your children are used to misbehaving a lot, remember that small changes over time will lead to big results. If things really need to change though, perhaps set up new systems overnight and be sure to enforce them with consequences. It might be a rude awakening, but beneficial in the long run. When starting school, it is most beneficial when it is as much of a routine as possible. This reduces the chance for misbehavior because children know what to expect, and it also makes the pain of starting an assignment or schoolwork less likely because it is an expected task. Often visual schedules and warnings before transitioning to a new subject or task can be helpful. Children who struggle with taking breaks and then going back to schoolwork, often benefit from visual timers and/or warnings that their break is about to end in 5 minutes. It’s important not to get into the regular waiting for them to finish cleaning up tasks because they were still playing when they were supposed to be done. Instead, implement transition times, as well as end times. In a regular school, a teacher can have the privilege of assigning time for students to line up before recess, walking, and then playing. On the return to the classroom, the teacher can call out a 5 minute warning that their recess will be ending, and assign time to line up again. The teacher can also lay out the next task for students to work while they are at recess on their seats before the students return to the classroom to reduce chit chat and disruptions during the transition back to the classroom. Picture your students as crazy fish that will swim in all directions and cause mass chaos unless you plan out every minute and activity. As a parent, you probably do not have the convenience of having another teacher or tutor watch the students during recess while you lesson plan and lay out new material for the children to work on when they return from recess. Nevertheless, you are likely not dealing with 30 children. As this post is already getting too long, I will leave it here, but hopefully you have found some fundamental ideas to start implementing in your homeschool or classroom.
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